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He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said `This dumbass put my cape on backwards.`
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
If you can`t think of a word, say "I forget the English word for it". That way people will think you`re bilingual instead of an idiot.
Just burned 2000 calories. That`s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.