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Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
Check this one out.........1
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.