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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information.
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come