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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
If you want your team to win a sporting event just tell me. I will root for the other team. That will guarantee a win for your team.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.