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I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
I’m not crazy just the voices are!
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do
If nobody comes from the future to stop you, how bad can the decision really be?