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I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
Reminiscing isn’t as fun as it used to be.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
I ate gummy bears and didn`t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I`m an adult now.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
Designated Driver is just a nicer way of saying, you can come with us, but nobody wants to deal with your drunk a$$.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.