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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Ladys have it easy, if they ever do start to loose an argument they can just start playing with their boobs
Stairs are like rock climbing after a bottle of vodka.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Did you know dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your a$$ smelling like meadows and rain drops?
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.