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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
My new home security sign : "EBOLA QUARANTINE" - Deters salesman, thieves, and neighbors.
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.