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I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
You are wasting your time reading this status.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
You`re exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don’t get her a size S with a gift receipt, you’re an a$$hole.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.