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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
My dog`s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I`d like it to be.
I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
Interviewer: "What did you like best about your last job?" Me: "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.