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The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
I hate when men`s restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
Grabbed Pizza Roll. Thought "my god that is so hot it`s burning my fingers" and immediately popped it in my mouth ... I`m a goddamn genius.
Buy all your socks in one color - problem of the missing sock solved!
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.