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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
You can test my patience all you want, but Iām never going to pass.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
Don`t be scared of the government shutdown, liquor stores are run by the states.
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
My body needs a refresh button.