Daily Silly Status

I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!

Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.

I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"

Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.

The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.

Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.

If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?

Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.

Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.

Ever drink so much your wife makes sense? Me neither...But I keep trying

Remember bad decisions make the best stories!!!

Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild

I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.

Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.