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I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
I hate when I go to pump gas only to find out that the little metal "handle hold up thingy" is broken, so I have actually squeeze and hold the handle. I hate it for two reasons: 1) its gross and i just wanna peel my hand skin off like gloves when im done. 2) it makes me realize how lazy I am.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.