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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college: A. Your B. Ur C. You`re D. U`re
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.