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Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?