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Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat ... and taking the tartar sauce with you.
?-- that guy is cute ?
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.