Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Me: spends 12 hours comparing teams before completing NCAA bracket, loses $50. GF: Spends 5 minutes picking teams with "cute" mascot names, wins $1000.
Plan B includes margaritas.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
Taught a man how to buy fish ... So much easier.
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.