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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
I can only please one person a day...and today is not your day!
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.