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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
Multi-tasking: the art of screwing up everything all at once.
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Mondays should start at noon.
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
The first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.