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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
I’ll call it a “smart phone” the day I yell, “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your covers!”
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi.