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The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
"Should I add more liquor?" is the most ridiculous question I`ve ever been asked.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Today I caught myself smiling ... I was thinking of you ... Don´t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.