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Life would be a lot easier if employers accepted excuses like “I’m sorry I can’t come into work today, I’m sleepy”
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?