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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.