Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
99% of people in this world are stupid. Luckily I`m part of the other 5%.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Helpful Tip: Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
Being alive is so expensive.
Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate`s face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone... priceless.