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Jerry: Tom, you are a genius!.. Tom: Yeah, I am called that a lot... Jerry: What? Genius?... Tom: No, `Tom`
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.