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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Hard butter is the devil.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.