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This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.