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"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
I used to care what you thought of me, then I remembered what I thought of you.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.