Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Didn`t win the lotto again ... send prayers.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.