Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
Some of my best memories are naps.
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!