Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
Some people have goals of conquering the world! My goal is to sleep through the night without having to get up and pee!
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
These spaghetti-o`s taste like I don`t get paid until tomorrow.
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned