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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
Never judge a whiskey by its drinker.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
lifes a laugh, start living it!
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
life is too short to match socks
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
I have a drinking problem. When I tilt my head back to take a drink, I can’t see my computer screen.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.