Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I`ve never been more scared of a drink in all my life.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
My boss acts like during March Madness is the only time we`re less productive. Its cute
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
You should never answer your phone during sex, particularly if it`s your wife calling.
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.