Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends."
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.