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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I`d totally be expecting some change back.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Ride me like you stole me.
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.