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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
Honk if you are reading this.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
The worst time to need sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee is when you’re driving and need to sneeze.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
This weekends forecast shows a 0% chance of cooking or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.