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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
Not All Of The `Goodbyes` Are Sad (eg. * Goodbye School * Goodbye Work)
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
I bet someone could get really rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights!
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.