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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
Sorry I`m late, my alarm didn`t go off, because I didn`t set it ... because I don`t like coming here
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.