Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.