Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
I am used but in good condition.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!