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All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
Of course you look good; I don`t have ugly friends.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Good for you, people that do things.
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."