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People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex`s car.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.