Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
word of the day: nincomtard
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty