Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they’re always taking things literally.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!