Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
Every Instagram caption should just be, "ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY LIFE YET??"
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!