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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
99% sure my soulmate is a piece of pizza.
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Ladies...when I say bless you after a sneeze, just say Thank you, instead of wondering where in the bushes that just came from.