Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
Before I had kids I never really reflected on life`s little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I`m not an actor.
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
Folks, there`s no need to say GOODNIGHT on Facebook. NO ONE will be thinking " hey where did they go".
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell