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If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
I want the job of placing pepperoni slices on frozen pizzas, because clearly whoever has it is now has problems.
An ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like a kidnapper asking to stay in touch after they let you go.
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie