Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
Sometimes I get up really early, drink some coffee and read some awesome motivational quotes. Then I go back to bed.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
there is no strong beer, only weak men
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.