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I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
If you love someone, let them go, if they don`t come back..... Set them on fire *evil grin*
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and thats were I sleep...
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
If you wake up with a chick and you dont know her name, take her to starbucks, they`ll write it on the cup.