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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I`m gonna get the government involved so you can`t leave.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
I can`t stand people who use song lyrics in their status` because they remind me of sombody that I used to know
Helpful Tip: Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.