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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
I donΒ΄t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, IΒ΄m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I’d go to the gym but I’m still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.