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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
Sometimes all you need is $100,000
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
I bet my mom is looking down on me right now, wherever she is. She`s not dead, just very condescending.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.