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Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
Not sure yet why this cookie dough has baking instructions on the package.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
Yes, it`s a bad time. Let me call you back when I`m not feeling so honest.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day