Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
Relationships are like yard sales. They look good from a distance, but once you get there it`s just a bunch of sh!t you don`t really need.
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?